Let Ahab Harpoon His Whale
I'm Lampoonin' Marcellus Shale!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fracking Poem Number Eight

The Pro-Drilling folks

are as grass roots as they can be.

It's just their fertilizer

that's paid for by the gas companies

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Fracking Poem Number Seven: The Soft Sell

Let's stop carping about fracking fluid.

Yes, let's rise above it.

Who knows, after drinking the stuff,

We may learn to love it!

Don't get hysterical

like chickens to the slaughter.

Don't throw out the baby

with the ethylene glycol-laced bath water.

Let's look on the bright side

while our ground water is cooking

and examine the advantages

we may be overlooking.

Once ingested by small children,

toluene tends to stay,

Transforming young bodies

In at least twelve different ways.

Gargling with propylene glycol

Should do wonders for your breath

(Side effects may include cancerous tumors and premature death).

I know some people complain

(and that is their right),

But who says flaming water in your washer

Won't mean whiter whites?

Is there a cleanser out there

That you've ever seen

with more grease-cutting power than

propylene glycol and toluene?

So let's cease all our whining

and develop a sense of humor

Let's stop thinking like citizens

And start acting like consumers.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fracking Poem Number Six

Pro-drillers argue that

their means will be justified

by their ends.

And besides, what's a little

propylene glycol

between friends?


Fracking Poem Number Five

Why bother going green
When your well's already tainted with ethylene glycol, propylene glycol and toluene?

Experts in Dimock
Call it the biggest concentration They've ever seen.

Some call this "prosperity"

I call it obscene.

Fracking A Poem Number Three

Here's a Drilling Question
That won't take But a minute.

If Fracking Fluid's So good for Us
Why won't they tell us What's in it?

Fracking Poem Number Four: Who's Behind Those 'Friends of Natural Gas' Signs?

The Wizard once told us,
"Pay No Attention to the man behind the curtain,
Except when he's working
for Big Gas Or Halliburton."


Fracking: A Poem Number Two

Be you Christian or Jewish
Muslim or Druid,
Nobody likes drinking water
Laced with Fracking Fluid.


Fracking: A Poem

Poison Thy Neighbor.
(And Make Money Too!)
That's what the Gas Drilling Lobby
Wants You to Do.